Relationships and Vet School

Entry, Life as a Vet Student Category
Kaitlin Lonc,  Michigan State University

On Thanksgiving Day 2011, my wonderful boyfriend popped the question and I said yes.  On the Monday after, I almost failed my pathology exam because I got so distracted by the shiny new ring on my finger.  My brain: Caseous necrosis?!? Ooh…. shiny!

Vet school and relationships?  I’d like to think I’ve got it down but little did I know how stressful planning a wedding and taking classes would truly be! An average day in my life consisted of going to class from 8am to 5pm, then to our pre-marital counseling, then the homework began for the next day.  

I can’t say that I did it alone though-for example, the DIY invitations that seemed like such a good idea until I realized they needed to be sent out during my final exams were promptly dumped on my poor fiancé, who recruited his friends to come over one night and put 150 address labels on envelopes.

So what did this experience teach me? In a word, vet school + relationships=balance.  You need to realize you can’t do it all.  And sometimes you really do need to put family first.  The studying will take care of itself if you truly want to carve out that time so that you can be with your loved ones.  It’s like that old rock/sand/jar analogy- you gotta put the big ones in first. 

And sometimes, you just have to learn to let go… you can’t please everyone. You need to ask for help sometimes, and be able to say no.  And let your family know that you’re going through a stressful time and that you’re doing the best you can to make everyone happy (sorry family).  And just remember, in a few short years it will all be over, so make the best of vet school while you can. 

 

Relationships

Relationships: balancing our interpersonal relationships in veterinary school can be a demanding but rewarding and essential undertaking.  How do you meet new friends or significant others while in vet school, or how do you make quality time available to the special ones you already have?

Honorable Mention, Life as a Vet Student Category
Oneal Peters, Colorado State University

It’s 2:30 am. I sit in the equine medicine rounds room, listening to angry sparrows complain about being stuck in the barn in the middle of the night, most likely separated from their fellow sparrows (well, at least I assume that’s what all the racket is about) and I wonder if all my family is snuggled up in their beds, fast asleep or if any of them are awake at this hour (perhaps my brother, who tends to function best in the wee hours of the morning). Vet school certainly changes your routine, and not only is it a huge adjustment for the student but life begins to change quite a bit for those around them.

When I began vet school, I had been married for two years and my family was only four hours away. I entered vet school with a substantial support system and I didn’t have to worry about meeting Mr. Right (or any Mr. for that matter), but maintaining the relationships I already had was something that came with a learning curve. Luckily, I have a very understanding family and husband, and if they don’t see or hear from me for weeks, they understand and don’t take it personally. And while it’s lovely to have people who are so benevolent with their empathy, I soon realized that it benefited my own persona to find a way to balance vet school with real life, because while my family seemed to function pretty well without me, I wasn’t able to function very well without them. So I began to tier my priorities. Yes, school is undoubtedly important, but not so important that you become a hermit, emerging from your vet school cave after four long years to realize you lost all your friends and family because you had vet school tunnel vision. I often felt like there were not enough hours in the day to fit in all the things that were important: studying, sleeping, spending time with hubby and dogs, visiting family, exercising…the list goes on and on, but then I realized it was all a matter of schedule. The concept of putting your life on a schedule seems a bit neurotic, yes, I know, but when I became a vet student, this was the only way to keep my sanity. So it began. I used my giant white board from Target to schedule each week. I titled it “weekly goals” so that I didn’t feel terrible if not all my tasks were completed. I broke my days into blocks. Study blocks. Walk the dog blocks. Free time blocks. And then the hard part came along - trying to stick to the schedule. It took a bit of adjustment and a strong dose of discipline, but over time I became accustomed to my schedule and life became more manageable. If I followed my blocks, I would feel more satisfied about the amount of studying I did because I had quantifiable times spent studying, and so free time was guilt free.

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Relationships

Winner, Life as a Vet Student category
Sharon Ostermann, UC Davis

Dating in vet school is a hot topic! Not so much because it is terribly exciting but rather because vet school seems to be overwhelmingly dominated by heterosexual women which presents a challenge for many people looking to date. Yet, gender and sexual orientation aside, forming new relationships, romantic or otherwise, revolves around the same basic principle – branching out.

Not long ago, I met up with a future vet student and she asked me, “So what’s dating like in vet school?”

Hmmm…

I wasn’t really sure what to say.
Don’t get me wrong, there are people who have started relationships in vet school, both with other vet students as well as with people outside of vet school, but, for the most part, people who came into vet school single remained single for much of first year. But that’s not to say that’s how it has to be. It is possible to date or start a relationship during vet school; it’s just slightly more difficult given time constraints and the demanding curriculum that vet school entails. That is why, in my opinion, having a friend or partner who is aware and understanding of the demands of your course load is imperative, above and beyond any other traits. I also believe that a person who can support you and keep you focused on your work as opposed to constantly distracting you from it is crucial.

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