By: Lindsey Thomas
Louisiana State University, Class of 2012
He ambles toward the door
A picture of lazy confidence
Until you see his troubled eyes—
Kaleidascope images fenced.
I can’t seem to speak,
To swallow that selfish pride,
To tell him to STOP! WAIT!
We both bottle our hurt inside
Then: A phone call, a gasp,
Everything blurs,
Can’t move fast enough,
At only myself I curse.
Wringing hands, fervent prayers,
I shouldn’t have let him go!
Curves and bridges and curves,
Ice, sleet and snow…
Smell of sterile, of fear,
I can’t seem to stop the cold;
A muted television,
Stare blindly at magazines old
Why are they smiling?!
Don’t they know??
Why will the world not stop
Or even slow?
Minutes are years,
Every footstep is a drumbeat
Then the white coat enters—
We all rise from our seats.
There’s no need to speak
His red-rimmed eyes tell
Please, please wake me!
If it’s not a dream, it’s hell
Send me away, I won’t even breathe
Until he smiles again
Beauty is sarcasm, all colors gray
Without my love, my best friend
Every song, every scene
Memories crumple my soul
Maybe (just maybe) if I lay still long enough,
I will fade out, wake in his arms,
And again be whole.
2010