My friend "Carmella"
Saturday, September 20, 2014 at 12:00PM Christina Scudder, University of Missouri
Foot In Mouth Disease, Winner
I have a dear friend--I'll call her Carmella--who is an endless source of amusement. Despite being an intelligent individual and a dedicated student, Carmella has a bit of difficulty with, well, words. Thus, the medical terminology of veterinary school has proven to be problematic for her.
Once, Carmella announced to us that a friend of hers had scabies and was suffering badly. We questioned her friend's hygiene, whereupon she corrected herself and said that her friend actually had scrapie. This was hardly a relief! Before we could contact the CDC, however, Carmella--seeing the bafflement on our faces--finally admitted that her friend's affliction was actually shingles.
On another occasion, we were dissecting horses in Large Animal Anatomy, and happened to uncover the superficial thoracic vein, otherwise known as the spur vein (for its propensity towards being damaged when kicked by a rider). Carmella referenced a story told earlier by the professor about how hematomas have been known to form alongside this vein following trauma from vigorous spurring. "Can you believe that?" she asked, sincerely. "Have you ever kicked your horse so hard you gave him hemorrhoids?"
Perhaps my favorite Carmella story relates to the time a group of us were discussing a case in the hospital: an animal with an extreme inflammatory response that had resulted in massive thrombosis, resulting in the death of extremities from ischemia, subsequently followed by unchecked bleeding. Know what it is yet? Carmella did, too, and pulled out the three-letter acronym for the condition: "COD!" No, we explained--this was DIC, or disseminated intravascular coagulation. This did not satisfy Carmella, who wanted more information. "All over the body?" she asked. Exasperated, another friend clarified: "DISSEMINATED."
(submitted with permission of the story's real protagonist)
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