Meditations on Amateur Blood Collection
Madison Gohlke, Auburn University
A growling, griping, flopping mess The syringe flies through the air I wipe my brow and softly cuss Suspiciously, you glare I gently coax and offer treats You eye me warily I slide my arm under your neck You spaz and try to flee My longsuffering friend who’s here to help Politely judges me I say we do this all the time (as if we live Fear-Free) Don’t know if it’s the alcohol wipe Or the poke that incites your rage Or even just to be restrained But you refuse to be assuaged Your veins roll like a log You yelp when she pokes the needle in I’m sorry, you dumb dog If you’d hold still, then we’d be done And I wish it didn’t hurt But my dear, you don’t speak English yet So control I must exert I consider: is it worth all this? It’s just some free bloodwork But she pets your head, you wag your tail And I love you, you big jerk So we’ll find those veins, we’ll draw this blood And make sure you’re okay I hope you don’t remember this Or how upset you were today And I promise, in the future, dear, If you’ll cooperate this time We won’t do this for another year And maybe I’ll switch to bovine….
We take a break, then try again