Anesthesia Rap
Anesthesia Rotation Rap
by Maxbetter Vizelberg
Tufts Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine
Last week of Anesthesia, yo we started from the bottom
Hella cases, Wetmore said get ‘em, so I got ‘em Scared at first, but Tim cane like Hillary Rodham Saw Sue the Shih Tzu with pectus excavatum Also saw v-tach, I call it the kiss of death Monitored SpO2, we be usin’ Pleth On-call shifts, man, they’ve been killin’ me And Goldberg testing me on contractility Rapping so hard that I think my chest hurts Forgettin’ to put stickers on medical records Vet school felony, well maybe it’s a misdemeanor I’m simply just trying to impress Dr. Becca Reader Whose big goal is to optimize analgesia We prefer gas inhalants in lieu of usin’ TIVA Rounds room is boiling, feelin' like I got a fever Fake news: Ketamine will always cause a seizure Gettin’ in my zone, flexin’ on that Trazodone Screw our president cuz he leaves Alfaxalone (all facts alone) Alternative truth, we measure CO2 in horses Wolfensberger et. al., gotta check your sources Useful child, I’m an able son (Abelson), word to ‘manda Happy Chanukah and Christmas, shouts out to Santa Learning about many an induction protocol But usually you can find me pushin’ Propofol Wish y'all luck in all of your next rotations May we all make it to our final destinations Courtney, good luck with your job, and congratulations! You’re gonna be a fine vet and help all your patients Wherever life takes us, wishin’ all y'all the best But til then, bundle up in your winter vest Fractious old dog, give the bitch Midazolam Yo I’m serious (Sirius) like Prisoner of Azkaban Rounding with y’all, it really has been a thrill But let me reverse this with some Flumazenil It’s painful getting grilled on all things medical Forget a pumpkin patch, I’ll take some Fentanyl I know this is long, like a church sermon But hope you have enjoyed it like tutoring Richard Sherman Heart’s cutting out, I’ve got an arrhythmia And the cure is petting Mr. Chuck and Zinnia Namaste friends, that is word to India Indy Ryder, a 6yo. castrated male Boxer Presents for a mast cell tumor, oooh what a shocker Bout to present the rest of the case right now Like Rihanna, time for me to take a bow