Winner (part 2), Foot in Mouth Disease
Brittni East, Texas A&M

The culpritThe story I am about to divulge is the story of how a dog can look cute one second, and destroy a date and cost you your dignity in all of about half a second. The story begins like this: I decided to invite this guy over that I had liked for a long time for dinner, he thought my dog was cute so of course when I told him Moose would be there he was in. We had just finished dinner, when Moose ruined my life (Okay that might be a little drastic but it was close). David* and I had just finished dinner and were chatting aimlessly about school and projects etc, when Moose suddenly walks out of the bathroom and straight to David. This is when I notice that there is a string hanging from his mouth. Yes, it is exactly what you are hoping it’s not. David, being the unaware and completely oblivious male that he is, had absolutely NO idea what this string could POSSIBLY be attached to because he held his hands out to Moose’s mouth and said, “Hey Moosey, whatcha got there?” I’m sure you can see where this is going. Moose then drops the USED feminine product he so graciously retrieved from the trash can into my dates hands. The next five seconds happened in slow motion – David, after experiencing the most horrifying moment of his life has thrown the tampon onto the floor and ran outside dry heaving into my grass. Since David had thrown the tampon so quickly, Moose now thinks this is some kind of fun game and grabs it and starts running around the house like a mad-man with me chasing him and screaming, and him with a tampon string hanging out of his mouth looking like the happiest dog in the whole world. Needless to say I never got that second date and my dignity has never made a full recovery.  

**Names have been changed to protect the identiy as well as dignity of the person involved in this series of embarrassing events. I didn’t change Moose’s name, he deserves all the credit for this. Don't let that cute face fool you.