How to round the right way

Honorable Mention, Foot in Mouth
Erica Ward, Michigan State University

To brighten the spirits of my peers on our large animal medicine and surgery rotation, I decided to rap my rounds presentation....

Listen up fellas, I'll tell you the mostest

About a condition called Arthrogryposis.

The calf is born with stiff joints

My rhyme will go over the main points.

It can be caused by many things- from something the cow ate,

To the calf taking up too much real estate.

If you ever see a curly calf

You better move the flag to half staff.

There is no use in fixin' the feet,

We've gotta cut our losses- can't even sell the meat.

This is a bigger problem at beef barns,

A bull can be the culprit at those farms.

The genetic condition is from a recessive mutation,

To solve the problem there should be no hesitation.

It's a 3-point mutation on a single chromosome,

There are many tests to choose from- to each his own,

You see, in Bovine land all the marriages are arranged,

and it would be a pity if calves were born deranged.

So test your heifers and test your bull, 

If they come back positive, it's best to cull.

Now all you Dairy farmers listen up,

This is vital if you want there to be milk for that cup.

Don't let you cows eat Lupine flower,

Keep Bluetonge and Arboviruses away with all your power.

You better pray the calf has enough room,

Or I'll be sending him right to his tomb.

And that's all there is to Arthrogryposis,

Thank you for your attention, I love you the mostest.