Jane Austen and General Pathology

By: Joelle Glenn

University of Florida, Class of 2013

It all began late one night, while  studying intensively (aka “cramming”) for a general pathology exam, by the application of a quote from one of Jane Austen’s novels, “Pride and Prejudice”, that helped to lighten the work of studying, and was posted on the Facebook profile of a Veterinary Student*:

‎"I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of anything than of a book! When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library." - I honestly don't know if Jane Austen ever picked up a Gen Path book though...lol

Fyi…the textbook in question weighs about 12 pounds and is four inches thick!

This inspired a reply posting from the Veterinary Student* to the Instigator* in similar style, reflecting on the seemingly impossible requirements of actually becoming a veterinarian:

 “But I am very far from agreeing with you in your estimation of veterinary students in general. I cannot boast of knowing more than half-a-dozen, in the whole range of my acquaintance, that are really accomplished.” (Darcy)

“Nor I, I am sure,” said Miss Bingley

"Then," observed Elizabeth, "you must comprehend a great deal in your idea of an accomplished veterinary student."

"Yes, I do comprehend a great deal in it."

"Oh! Certainly," cried his faithful assistant, "no veterinary student can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. She must have a thorough knowledge of anatomy, physiology, pathology, pharmacy, surgery, and the modern diagnostics, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking in a white coat, the tone of her voice when discussing treatment options, her use of medical terminology and exam charges, or the word will be but half-deserved."

"All this she must possess," added Darcy, "and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading of textbooks not required in the syllabus."

"I am no longer surprised at your knowing ONLY six accomplished veterinary students. I rather wonder now at your knowing ANY."

Another Classmate* was prompted to reply in like manner, after an unfortunate result on general pathology laboratory quiz, with the following post:

‎"She is tolerable, I suppose, but her identification of cardiac skeletal muscle isn't handsome enough to suit me..." --unnamed professor

Later that week, the Instigator* of this game posted the following on Facebook during General Pathology class, in sight of the Veterinary Student*, with the result of very nearly causing a class disruption, and drawing the attention of the professor, who remarked that “it must have been something good”. Fortunately, a public explanation was not required at the time! This one is from “Emma”:

"I lay it down as a general rule, [Student’s Name]*, that if a veterinary student doubts as to whether she should study General Pathology, Clinical Pathology, Microbiology, Pharmacology, Cardiopulmonary diseases or not, she certainly ought to refuse. If she can hesitate as to 'Yes,' she ought to say 'No' directly. It is not a state to be safely entered into with doubtful feelings, with half a heart.”

If these relations have not amused you, the Instigator* reflected on happier times to come with the following altered quote by Jane Austen:

“A veterinarian is always more agreeable than a veterinary student. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of medicine without suspicion. All is safe with a lady veterinarian; no harm can be done."

I would be remiss if I did not end this narrative with yet another Pride and Prejudice alteration, which is a very nice book to read in your spare time, not that any of us happen to have time spared from study!

“For the truth of everything here related, I can appeal more particularly to the testimony of the Instigator* and our Classmate*, who, from our close friendship and constant intimacy, and, still more, as members of the UF CVM class of 2013, have been unavoidably acquainted with every particular of these transactions.”

*Please note that names have been changed to protect the guilty…